Everything was set firmly in place, as with military precision, the 'Man With The World's Largest Penis' Bargis Tryhol, accompanied by legendary French marine biologist, Jacques Cocktail and a posse of submarine cameramen set out aboard the yacht 'Collapso' to film the sex movie and internet legend, Tryhol, attempt to 'f*ck a blue whale into oblivion'
Although warned that his was a risky undertaking, given that the blue whale is the planet's largest creature, Tryhol was undeterred.
"Hey," he told us. "She gets a piece of Bargis, it's gonna make her eyes water. She is of course gonna be under water anyway, but trust me, you'll get a reaction."
Cometh the hour, cometh the man.
A Blue Whale female was spotted emerging into the parking lot at Undersea Mart when Tryhol launched his unique attempt at something or other.
A total of sixty nine swimmers, including Tryhol and the camera crews, descended some twenty meters below the surface of the Pacific Ocean, blowing bubbles (but not in a Michael Jackson way) as they went.
Tryhol then mounted the female whale and thrashed about for all he was worth, for all the life in him, thrashing away like his life depended on it...
To no avail.
The whale didn't bat an eyelid.
Returning to the surface, Tryhol told us:
"I done good, didn't I?"
"She didn't even BLINK!" Crewman Skoob1999 told us. "Fuck a Blue Whale into oblivion, my arse!"
"She thrashed her tail!" Tryhol protested.
"They do that when the Japs harpoon them," Skoob replied. "It doesn't necessarily mean they're enjoying the experience. Get over it Bargis. You'll never succeed in giving a Blue Whale an orgasm. The male of the species has a seven foot cock. What makes you think you can outdo that?"
"How about a dolphin?" Tryhol pleaded.
"You're just being fucking silly now Bargis," Skoob replied. "Get a grip man."
"I thought I did okay," Bargis said.
"So you did Bargis. But you were the only one who thought so," Skoob told his pal.
"Fuggit!" Bargis grunted. "How about we try a rhinocerous next time?"
More Safari Vehicle headbutting frenzy if we ever get there.