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Monday, 23 November 2009

image for Susan Boyle Accuses Twilight Of Stealing Her Thunder

Former Scottish Church volunteer, turned into worldwide phenomenon after her performance on a British reality show, Susan Boyle was all set for her big album release and in New York City when she was told to hold down the racket because some of the stars from the new Twilight movie, New Moon, were coming out as Susan had got out of her cab where a few of her fans were mixed into the 1,000 or so Twilight fans.

"Ain't this the sheep's shit?", Boyle was thought to be understood to say, during all the screaming.

She then went up to a microphone as her agent pushed her forward and began her speech concerning how thrilled she was to be to be in New York City on the day of her first album release.

"I think....

But a roar went up as first Taylor Lautner and then Robert Pattinson came running out and into a taxi where crowds flocked around screaming, one topling Boyle and several falling over them.

"Why don't you move your big lardass off the street?", yelled a fallen Twilight fan.

After having his ears boxed, Susan was back on her feet and stomping mad which was too bad for those on the sidewalk.

"Get the old cow off of us or she'll kick us to death!"

A hand reached up and pulled down Susan but her guards had arrived and they cleared a spot around the mike.

"I was just going...well..what in the?"

Immediately Kristen Stewart made a mad dash at another cab and Susan and her guards were all swept away, Susan still beating the tar out of the young teens.

The press conference has been rescheduled for later this evening as Susan was last seen with the almost exact same hair style as Robert Pattinson!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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