Local man, Damian Hogan tonight fell asleep watching the rivetting TV talent show, the X-Factor. When he later awoke, Hogan was dying to know what song Jedward performed on the show.
Sadly, his wife could tell him no more than that it wasn't 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' but that it was something a bit like it. 'Club Tropicana' maybe.
Hogan, a dedicated Spoofer had been looking forward to the show as a valued source of Spoof material, but he admitted that he was tired following yet another eBay trip with his wife into the most interminably tedious suburban backwoods to pick up another door.
Hogan finally dozed off in the chair about five minutes into the show, and didn't wake up until that Big Kim woman was eating kangaroo testicles on 'I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!'
Hogan's wife then tried to rewind the Sky+ box and succeeded in crashing the whole damned shebang. Despite repeated warnings from Hogan that: "You can't do that!"
Following a sharp exchange of words Mrs Hogan stormed off upstairs and started to bang and crash around with the bloody great wardrobe that she'd nearly broke his leg with on Thursday.
Further harsh words were exchanged before a compromise was reached. The happy couple agreed to watch 'Match Of The Day' together. A satisfying experience for Hogan as Manchester United won 3-0.
But then the soppy bastard gave her his blessing to watch 'The King And I' with Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner.
Which is about where they're at right now.
Shall we dance?
"Oh do fuck off!" Hogan told us.
More musical mirth and merriment as we get it.