Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 November 2009

image for Carrie Prejean's Brother Says He'll Buy All Of Her Sex Tapes And Toss Them In The Pacific Ocean
Carrie Prejean's brother Bobby "Loose Lips" Arkanada talking about his "Perfect" sister.

OXNARD, California - Carrie Prejean's brother, Bobby "Loose Lips" Arkanada has said that he wants to buy all of his sister's sex tapes and destroy them by tossing them in the Pacific Ocean.

L.L. as his ex-girlfriend D.D. calls him, said that he does not want anyone to look at a tape that shows his sister, the beautifully stunning ex-Miss California wearing nothing but a knock off tiara, a knock off sash, and knock off beauty pageant six-inch high heels.

When L.L. was asked if he has any idea how many of his sister's sex tapes are out there he just smiled and said that he knows that she made 27 tapes because she told him in an email.

L.L. was informed that those are just the originals but now that they have been copied and recopied, and re-recopied there are probably somewhere around 90,000 copies floating around.

"Gulp."

L.L. was told that each tape could probably be sold for at least $10, so that would mean that he would have to come up with at least $900,000.

"Gulp."

Arkanada was asked if he has $900,000.

"Gulp."

He then remarked that he did not even have $900.

He was asked how in the world he figures that he is going to buy up all 90,000 of his sister's sex tapes when all he has is $900.

He again said, "Gulp."

He then disclosed that he guesses that he will just have to take on a second job.

When L.L. was asked what his first job is, he replied that he did not have a first job, but that just as soon as he gets his first job he will definitely be out looking for a second job.

L.L. was asked if he had a high school degree. He replied that just as soon as he finds a job he plans on going back to high school.

He was then asked about his rather unusual nickname, "Loose Lips."

He took a drink from his bottle of Coors Light and said that the nickname was in honor of his ex-girlfriend who oddly enough also made some self-made sex tapes with no one but her in the video.

L.L. said that the nickname came about because D.D.'s secondary, down yonder in the paw-paw patch, lips are somewhat on the loose side.

And on that visual note, we leave L.L. Arkanada and the beautiful, sun-drenched beaches of Oxnard and return to our Third Coast offices located high on the 97th floor of The Eva Longoria-Parker Building in downtown San Antonio, Texas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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