PITTSBURGH - A Pennsylvania Circuit Judge has informed Jon and Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 that she is instructing them to straighten out their marital problems by January 1, 2010, or she will be forced to turn custody of their eight children over to OctuMom Nadya Suleman.
Judge Ariana Gingercash who reviewed the case said that in her 27 years on the bench that she has never seen a more self-centered, ego-maniacal, spotlight seeking pair than Mr. and Mrs. Jon Gosselin.
Judge Gingercash said that she is sick and tired of reading about Jon "Playboy Stud" Gosselin cavorting with this bitch, or that ho, or that slut.
And she is equally as tired of seeing Kate "King Kate" Gosselin sitting in her kitchen, and living room, and bathroom and crying her eyes out whining about how badly Jon has mistreated her.
Gingercash said that Jon needs to settle down and stop thinking with his 'winky' and Kate needs to settle down and shut off the valve to her tear ducts.
The Pennsylvania judge has sent each parent a notarized letter stating that if they do not get their shit together (the judge's actual wording) she will have no choice but to turn the eight little Gosselin children over to someone who can take care of them and see that they live in a healthy, loving, normal, non-bickering environment.
Judge Gingercash stressed that in her eyes there is no one better to turn the 8 youngsters over to than to OctuMom.
The Judge pointed out that OctuMom already has 14 kids and she has more than demonstrated that she is quite capable of taking care of all 14 by herself, without a husband, boyfriend, or male role model figure.
In fact, Judge Gingercash thinks so much of Nadya Suleman's capabilities as a mother that she has recommended her for Wonderful Working Mom's Of America Magazine's "Mother of The Year" award.
In a non-related story. TV Guideline Magazine's Wallace Goldenseal has just written a story stating that it is amazing that former Vice President Dick Cheney has spoken more words in just the past eight weeks than he spoke in the entire time eight years that he was in office. Goldenseal closed his article by saying that somebody needs to tell Dicky Cheney that his eight years and 15 minutes are up.