Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 20 November 2009

image for Banana Hoarding - The Curse Of Modern life
A Banana. Waking Up In The Morning. Our Future As A Species Depends On Such Events.

A new Panorama report for the BBC reveals that one of the greatest threats to the continued existence of the human race is not Global Warming, as championed by Al Gore, but the hoarding and panic buying of bananas.

The Panorama special explains to its dumbed down audience how panic banana buying is putting the planet at risk.

Supermarket Manager, Mbutu Buthelezi of Mile End explains in the documentary:

"I dunno what it is man. Folk gone mental innit. Dem in line before we open up on banana delivery days. Dem fightin' an' shit over bananas. World gone mental bro. Truss me."

The documentary will be aired next week.

It comes hot on the heels of the G8 Banana Conference in Livorno, where rioting potential banana buyers recently brought the town to a standstill.

Conservative Party figurehead, David Cameron claimed that there is only a limited amount of space on the planet which can be dedicated to banana growth, and claimed that the Conservative Party people would do something about it for sure.

Although his strategy remains obscured.

Mbutu Buthelezi told us:

"Dis banana stuff gettin too crazy. It be killin' me man!"

Bystanders could only stand impotently by as the argument raged on.

But Banana Boy told us:

"I'm keeping an eye on things."

More as we get it.

But probably not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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