Fresh from comforting Katie Price in the Australian jungle over rumours that she was being vote-rigged (or gerrymandered) into performing Bushtucker Trials because she's got huge breasts and the Bilderbungalow Group held a grudge against her, banana peeling superhero Banana Boy fled the set of crap Brit reality show 'I'm a Celeb - Get Me Out Of Here' to deal with more important matters.
Banana Boy, using a custom built James Bond Jetpack, and hoping to appeal to a wider audience, leapfrogged the Pacific Ocean to The Oasis Bar Grill Steak Kebab Chop And Chilli House Cum Pizzeria in the Hollywood Hills upon hearing reports that a fist fight was on the verge of breaking out between teen-queen Miley (Hannah Montana) Cyrus, and respected actress Hannah Dakota Fanning, as the Jonas Brothers - who had been earlier rejected as a support act by Brit girl-band sensation, The Bonkettes, looked on in shock and awe.
"what the hell is wrong with these people?" one of the Jonas Brothers mused.
Fortunately for all concerned, it never descended into an actual fist fight, just a great deal of shouting and gesticulating wildly.
"That's a relief," Banana Boy told us. "Once these rich bitches get into it, it can be a tough call."
After a hastily arranged press shoot, Banana Boy jet-packed back to Australia, with all due haste.
Only to find that Katie Price was considering rolling the skin off someone else's banana.
But Banana Boy was unrepentant.
"Hey, you do what you gotta do," he told us.
Bonkettes lead singer BJ Swallow said she had no idea what the raging banana peeling and fruit slurping thing was all about, but promised to call us if she had any information on the subject.
You will be as the news breaks.
More as we get it