Poor old Katie Price. Her return to the jungle in star-studded I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here has resulted in her phone poll nomination to partake in every 'Bushtucker Trial' has been regarded as an innate hostility harboured for her by the Great British Public over her split with hubby, Peter Andre.
So far, Jordan, aka Katie, aka her who's always in the tabloids, has faced every single Bushtucker Trial in the show. Ordeals which have seen her submerge her head in water, get thrown into a tunnel filled with creepy crawlies, get spun around in a bottle with 60,000 cockroaches, some meal worms, and a shitload of grasshoppers, followed by a live Bushtucker Trial in the form of a school lesson. Which involved more cockroaches, green ants, eels, grasshoppers, and meal worms.
Is there something sinister going on here though?
Some have suggested that one of the world's most secret societies, The Bildabungalow Group, have been behind a vote-rigging scandal which also encompasses the continued success of Jedward on X-Factor.
The Bildabungalow Group have allegedly been behind every economic event in recent history - including phone voting.
We managed to contact 'Bungalow Bob From Basingstoke' a backing singer with the Woodentops for chart topping girl band, The Bonkettes on their world stadium/top arena world tour, who has been accused of being a Bilderbungalow Group Grand Magician.
He told us:
"Sure, a lot of the guys in the group voted for Katie to do the Bushtucker Trials. But it wasn't because we have anything against her. We just like to see those big monster boobies jiggle and her skinny little stick-thin legs knock together as she shits herself in anticipation of things to come. She just looks so funny, covered in roaches. She is all out of proportion, but there's no conspiracy going on. Maybe other people find Katie getting smothered in slime and attacked by things that bite is kinda funny."*
So far, rumour has it that Katie will find a new love with ex-heavyweight boxing champion, Joe Bugner, but this has yet to be confirmed.**
* Eagle eyed viewers will have observed that the baby crocodiles featured in Wednesday's Bushtucker Trial had their snouts tied up with badly concealed twine.
** That Joe Bugner, despite his claim was never heavyweight champion of the world. Unless he did it when we weren't looking. Which is highly unlikely.
Too many shots to the head we'd venture.
More as we get it.