Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: TV, Celebrities

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for Yet Another Celebrity Show To Hit The Airwaves
'Is that a mouse on my shoe?' Score 2 points.

With 'I'm A Non Celebrity..' and 'Strictly' and the host of other celebrity challenge shows gracing our TV screens nightly, many thought the genre had been well and truly exhausted. But oh no. There's another on it's way.

'Celebrity Dancing On Mice' is set to hit screens this weekend. The weekly tap dancing extravaganza, on a floor filled with mice, is set to take the nation by storm.

72 'celebrities' compete each week to the tune of Duelling Banjo's and try to out tap each other. Points are scored for each mouse succesfully crushed under foot.

Animal rights groups are branding the show as abhorent. Sally Filch of PETA says, "this sort of entertainment is more what we expect from medieval times." The fact tap wasn't around in medieval times was obviously unimportant to the moaning old bag.

Crooning Scotish cavewoman Susan Boyle, who is to appear on the show, said "the wee mice donnee have much chance with me on the floor, I'm gooin ta get me a few crunchin' under me toos."

John Partbangle, the show's creator, said "I can't fathom all the fuss. These bloody women who 'eek' when they see a mouse are the first to jump down my throat about the cruelty aspect. I just say can't we let sleeping mice lie, it's all entertainment, and that's the most important thing in life, surely?"

The show starts this saturday at 8 pm on ITV 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 and will be repeated on all other channels throughout the night, then again on Dave an hour later. 'Phone votes will be fixed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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