For years we all thought gargantuan jugged bint Katie Price was a complete self absorbed, waste of space airhead. Well readers, turns out we were wrong.
Doctors Pratt and Stanley, of Essex, revealed today that Price was infact 'putting it on'. "It's all an act, she came to see us for trauma counselling after the break up with Peter, and let me tell you, a nicer lass you'll never meet," said Dr. Stanley, 38.
Pratt continued, "during our sessions Katie revealed to us that she had attended university and has a masters degree in archeology and psychological profiling."
"She has extensivley travelled the world and is fluent in 32 languages. She has been recently inducted into the Mensa board of directors and is an honourary member of the Guyan Wango tribe in Papua New Guinea, in recognition of her work in bringing peace to the land through extensive campaigning with local government and tribal elders."
"She only gets her baps out to better define the plight of exploitaton facing the female youths of today," continued Stanley, "and lets face it who hasn't got their norks out at any given opportunity for money? These youths are in an awful lot of plight! If her titties can save them, then I'm up for it," took over Pratt.
When discussing her wobblers Stanley says, "false yes, but a finer pair of Eartha Kitts I've never seen, nipps like hotplates," Pratt continued, "her jubblies were marvelous, gazonga's for all seasons, the firmness of her charlies is unmatched." Stanley then interjected in a faux Bob Hope style accent with "thanks for the mammaries, fancy some melons?"
Whilst you may be thinking this report has merely degraded in to an attempt to use lots of slang terms for ladybags, let me just say, you have made a boob. The fact that breasticles are mentioned is merely a fact of life for the chosen subject matter. You couldn't mention Neil Armstrong without mentioning the moon, so how could I mention Miss Price without the odd reference to funbags?