An Australian cockroach called 'Ned Kelly Cockroach' or 'Ned' to his mates today gave a graphic account of an ordeal he endured whilst minding his own business in an Aussie jungle cave with thousands of his mates.
It appears that the cockroaches were holding a circa year 1992 rave in a cave, when their party was rudely interrupted by a huge breasted female monster gatecrasher who sent the crowd of previously good natured cockroaches scurrying for cover.
As she flattened them into insenstivity with her outsized silicone implants.
One cockroach told us:
"I'd almost got out of the field of fire when one of those fucking whopping great silicone tits came crashing down on me and almost broke my carapice. I was stunned, but I managed to scuttle away. Luckily. It was like being hit by a howitzer shell."
Another told us that the uber breasted freakshow swatted him off like he was a bug.
"It was really scary," Ned said. "We were just minding our own business when this gigantic monster from hell broke up the party. Just get me out of here. I've had enough."
A trail of insects, rats, scorpions, snakes, toads and assorted bugs were last seen headed in convoy away from the celebrity jungle site.
"I suppose it could have been worse," a scorpion told us. "They could have brought Timmy Mallet and David VanDay back. Anyway. Fuck it. I'm outa here."
More crustacean related crap as we get it.
Probably a bit of entymology too.
But we can't guarantee it.