Singer Britney Spears has officially changed her name to pillow, her last name, that is.
"I've decided having a weapon for a last name in not right", stated Ms. Sp...Pillow. "There is too much violence in the world for that. I want to be an even more positive influence on today's youth than I already am."
Ms. Pillow continued in the with exaggerated gesturs to say that she herself did not want to be responsible for some disturbed kid to take a spear to school and pin his school principal to the wall.
"All anyone needs to know to hear where I am next performing is the word "Pillow!"...I mean "Britney", they don't even pay attention to the rest", she told our own reporter after the conference, while she took questions.
Ms. Pillow stated that she realized that one of Michael Jackson's children was called "Blanket", but denied that it had any influence on her new name of choice.
She then stated that she liked sex like anyone else and that made "Pillow" the right choice, as it was offensive to no one.
She also stated that "Pillow" was a sexy name and would actually help her career.
"I simply could not go on with a weapon as part of my name."
Meanwhile, in Maggoty Arkansas today, a student who had just came back to school after being sent home for three days, apparently caught his school principal asleep and smothered him to death with a pillow.