The TV show X-Factor plumbed new and ever greater depths yesterday as 'guest artiste' Shakira appeared to be miming, following in the Cheryl Cole tradition.
We contacted top mime artiste Marcel Marinado, who comes from France, and is French and asked him to view footage of the performances of Cheryl Cole and Shakira.
"Zey are miming," Marcel said wizzout (sorry - without) hesitation. "You can see it. Zey aren't even using available technology. Zey are simply lip synching to pre-recorded tracks. And zey are doing it very badly. Zey don't even appear to be making ze effort. It is limp and flat."
We went on to ask Marcel if there was anything about the X-Factor, any redeeming quality which could make it even remotely worthwhile for the ever gullible British television viewing public.
After careful consideration, Marcel told us:
"They've put out a charity single in order to benefit Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital, and zat is an honourable sing to do. Ozzer zan zat, ze show is sheet."
Louis Walsh is still acting like a senile dementia patient, with the drooling and the rocking in the seat and stuff.
More as we get it.