Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Carrie Prejean

Saturday, 14 November 2009

image for 27 More Carrie Prejean Sex Tapes Have Been Found
The original Carrie Prejean Sex Tape shown with a "Child Proof Lock" feature (Patent Pending).

GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - The dethroned Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was in Green River signing copies of her latest book Still Standing But Listing Badly.

And by all looks of things it now appears that there is not just one sex tape starring Carrie Prejean but many, many more.

An unnamed source who spoke on condition of anonymity stated that he has personally seen 27 different sex tapes, and all starring Carrie Prejean in solo roles.

He said one tape shows her dressed as a Hooter's waitress serving hot dogs to imaginary male customers.

Another one has her dressed as a Los Angeles Lakers Laker Girl, doing the splits after imaginary Laker players make their free throws.

And yet another one shows her dressed up as a Kiowa squaw complete with rub on teepee tattoos, a fake bodily piercing of her wigwam, and some wampum stuck up her (blank).

This tape is a little different than the others because in this tape Carrie is shown riding a full grown buffalo in what appears to be her backyard.

She reportedly rented the bison from Buffalo Billy's Buffalo Rental And Buffalo Denutting Service in Cucamonga, California.

Ms. Prejean managed to sign three of her books before the subject turned to her notorious sex tapes. She claims to be the most religious 22-year-old in the left coast state, and perhaps even the entire country said that she is sick and tired of talking about the stupid sex tape, which actually only has one person in it...her.

When she was asked if she's so pretty, and so physically desirable, and so sexually attractive as she says she is then what in the world is she doing playing 'touch me here' with herself.

She turned beet red and pretended that her microphone was not working, kind of like the way she did on Live with Larry King the night before.

Larry King's producer Wendell Fabrikant said that in the 40 years that he has known Larry that he has never seen him more angrier and more disgusted with a guest as he was with Carrie Prejean that night.

In fact, unbeknownst to Fabrikant, one of Larry's longtime assistants Dee Dee Patchpark asked him if he wanted for her to taser the out-of-control Ms. Prejean during the commercial break.

King said that he would love for her to taser the punk but that she would probably end up peeing all over the set and making a hell of a mess.

After the show ended King asked Fabrikant that who in the friggin world did that effen (blank) think she is. King said that not even fluckin' (blanks) like Ann Coulter, Madonna, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse, and Kathy Griffin get away with treating him like she did.

Fabrikant asked Larry why he had not unloaded with both barrels on the shark-mouthed fake blonde when she went into her spoiled brat routine mode.

Larry answered because he was shocked. He said that he could not believe what was unfolding before his very eyes.

He said that at one point he finally got so mad that he went into an unscheduled commercial, which ironically was a commercial about anger management and how taking three tablets of Fisfolexenchia can make the difference between acting cool, calm, and collected or acting like a total piece-of-pigeon shit jerk like blondie had done.

Larry said that when he went home his wife Shawn asked him what in the world is a matter with that Prejean woman. Larry said that she is a real work of art.

Mrs. King said that it is obvious as the black roots on Prejean's head that the spoiled brat's problem is that she needs a man to get a hold of her and give her the F ing of her lily-white, holier-than-thou, better-than-everyone ditsy blonde life.

Larry laughed and told Shawn, who is 24 years younger than him, that the one thing that he loves about her is that she does not beat around the bush, she tells it like it is.

Shawn laughed and said that perhaps Prejean's deep rooted problem is the fact that all of this time, maybe she has been beating around the bush when someone else should have been beating the bush in a manner of speaking.

Larry laughed and started coughing. He coughed and coughed some more. He could not stop. Finally Shawn hit him on his back and he was able to finally stop coughing.

Larry promised her that he would make an appointment to see a doctor about that little affliction that seems to be occurring with a little more and more regularity.

SIDENOTE: Larry King was so angry with the way that Carrie Prejean was acting on his show that he has vowed that he will never have her on again. He said that he would rather have a damn drunk duck with a STD than to have that conceited, arrogant, and sarcastic (blank) ever darken his TV studio again.

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