The World's Most Interesting Woman, Wendy Beckett touched down at the Eternal City's Fiumicino Airport this afternoon to talk about sex with Italian Premier, media mogul, and AC Milan owner, Silvio Berlusconi.
Upon touchdown, Ms Beckett was whisked away by limousine to her hotel on the Via Veneto, opposite the US Embassy, where she enjoyed a half hour of La Dolce Vita before joining Berlusconi in a government office on the Via Del Corso.
Where the two talked candidly about sex.
Under fire Berlusconi, heavily criticised recently for his penchant for nubile young women who he insists call him 'Papa' opened the conversation by asking Ms Beckett why he should be condemned so vigorously for preferring younger poontang.
Ms Beckett replied that old Silvio would be best served by keeping his pecker in his pants, and not make a damned fool of his old self by chasing twenty year old pussy.
At which point, Berlusconi reportedly said:
"But I have a rival. This Fernando Monte Verde fellow, the most interesting man in the world. Tell me Wendy Beckett - what does he have that I do not?"
Wendy Beckett crossed, then uncrossed, then recrossed her shapely silk stocking clad legs, before replying.
"He has a very long tongue. I have been pleasured by that long tongue and it was tres magnifique. I shudder when I think about it."
"I have a big mouth, and I'm very loud," Berlusconi argued. "Does that not count?"
"Silvio, darling," Wendy Beckett said with much pity. "You don't have the pussy fat of a thousand willing virgins lingering in your beard."
"But, Wendy Beckett - I don't have a beard!" Berlusconi wailed.
"Then grow one," Wendy Beckett advised. "It will help. It kind of tickles the bean. If you get what I mean. Now, I must go Silvio. I have a dinner appointment with Antonio Banderas in Piazza Navona, overlooking Bernini's fountain, the one with the big Egyptian Obelisk sticking up high, long, strong and proud."
"That's it?" Berlusconi gasped. "That's the sum of your advice?"
"In a nutshell, yes," Wendy Beckett concluded. "Now I must be off. My nipples are standing proud like a toddler's thumbs, I'm getting damp between the legs, I have Antonio Banderas to see to and the Ratzinger guy wants a consultation over at the Vatican. Later Silvio."
With that, the World's Most Interesting Woman, Wendy Beckett flounced out of the room in a nasal haze of Chanel perfume, leaving Silvio stunned shitless.
More as we get it.