Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 12 November 2009

image for Bonkettes Storm Charleston SC Amid Stalker Storm
Twin Sisters BJ Spit And BJ SWallow Check Out Venice Beach Prior To Hollywood Bowl Gig.

The world's greatest girl band, the Bonkettes took the stage tonight in an aircraft hangar at Charleston United States Air Force Base in South Carolina.

The Bonkettes have been sidelined recently due to a number of issues beyond their control. Mainly legal and contractual issues, but they took the stage this evening looking fired up and all set to rock the joint.

Twin sisters BJ Spit and BJ Swallow led band members Kathy Legover nee Trembler and drummer Fanny Tickler onstage to tumultuous applause from a predominantly male underpant and jock strap tossing audience.

Upon taking a bow, the Bonkettes launched into an amazing set, featuring all new material penned by the girls themselves, proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that they realy are the most creative girl band in the universe.

Grasping the microphone in a distinctly phallic way, BJ Swallow launched into a rousing version of instant classic 'Fuck Me Like You Mean It' dropping to her knees for the climax.

Further instant Bonkettes classics followed in quick succession, classics such as 'Bohemian Parody,' 'Get Down On That Sucker' 'Proud Mary Was Nothin' But a Ho' 'Quickie On The Midnight Train To Georgia' and brand new chart topper 'We Gotta Fight For The Cock.'

Things took a sinister turn though, as the plug was pulled on the famous girl band after threats were received and intercepted by the CIA, the FBI, Homeland Security and WalMart regarding a deranged veteran fan who swore to give up attending pole dancing joints and give drummer Fanny Tickler a good old US seeing-to.

A man was arrested lurking under the stage. The cute dog the man had with him was described as 'just a front' by CPD officer Carlton Charleston, who described the suspect as "dubious in the extreme"

The Bonkettes, undeterred, completed the show with an underpant stirring version of 'How Deep Is My Throat?' followed by an encore of 'Slap It between These Babies You Horny Bastard.'

Relaxing after the show and sensually sucking on a pint of formaldehyde through a straw, lead singer BJ Swallow told us:

"That was cool. The stalker was a bit weird but his dog was cute."

The Bonkettes are scheduled to play the Hollywood Bowl as they continue to take the world by storm.

We'll bring you all the news as we get it.

Guaranteed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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