Simon Cowell's decision to let the public decide who was to be voted off the latest episode of The X-Factor has sparked a shitload of complaints it has been confirmed, by me, based on no facts at all.
Welsh teenager Lucie Jones was kicked off the talent show after the public chose twins John and Edward Grimes to go through to the next round.
Immediately calls began coming in:
"That's not fair, there are TWO of them!"
"Those clones are clowns, bring back Lucie!"
"This 999? I burnt my balls fixin speegetti..."
"Georgeeeee! Harold is out playing golf allllll day!"
"Where's the other Stooge to go with these two?"
However, the Irish twins HAVE become the firm favorites with the public despite some erratic performances and, at least for the present, are still on the show.
A spokesperson confirmed to this reporter that complaints had been made but would not confirm how many had been received.
She said: "We will assess the complaints against the Broadcasting Code and get back to you when we get ready. Quit calling every fifteen minutes!"