In still another confession last night, David Letterman confessed that the reason Susan Boyle had never showed up on his show for an interview was that, during practice to get her to feel more comfortable, he had tried to fondle her.
"I don't know what came over me? I mean, I know, but it was usually with a sexy good time guest or one of the sex slaves that work here."
Susan reportedly stated that she gave Letterman a "proper dressing down and told him plainly that I was saving myself for the right man."
"Then!', stated the Builder's Bardot, "he actually came out of his chair, walking across the desk and began reaching for me when I got out my ugly stick and gave him a good trashing!"
"The very idea!"
Susan went on and stated that she walked out right then and there while Letterman was lying on the floor clutching his "unmentionables".
"Why, my cat has better manners than that. At least HE goes out and makes his feelings known right up front. He wouldn't hide behind a desk. For all we know, he's sitting there without any pants."
Letterman, who has began to look like a skinny-faced Alfred E. Newman, apologized to Ms. Boyle and her cat among a mass of jokes about her ugly puss on the show last night.