Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 9 November 2009

image for Many X-Factor Fans Are Calling For Simon Cowell To Be Arrested
Some of the anti-Simon Cowell protesters outside the BBC building demanding Cowell be arrested.

LONDON - Literally tens of thousands of viewers and fans of the British musical reality show X-Factor are angrily asking that one of the shows judges Simon Cowell be arrested.

Furious fans and vehement voters from all over the United Kingdom are basing their demand on the fact that Cowell showed a lack of bollocks by allowing the decision on whether to send Jedward or Lucie Jones home to rest solely on the popular vote.

And of course the cute-looking blonde Irish twins with the upturned hairdos had more viewer votes than did the little Welsh lass, who many compare to judge Cheryl Cole, except of course that Cheryl has tons and tons much more money and she is married to the British football star Ashley Cole.

Sweet little Lucie began crying when the decision was read and reports are that she cried on the plane all the way back home to Pentyrch, Wales.

Even the plane's pilot, Captain Sir Trumble Hargreaves, 89, of Cardiff, Wales, who sat and talked to Lucie for 15 minutes could not get her to stop crying.

Captain Hargreaves finally had to return to the cockpit with his pilot's uniform all covered in tears, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and crumpets.

Marston K. Duckworth the milkman who delivers the milk to the Jones home said that when he delivered the milk this morning he noticed that he could hear Lucie softly crying in the kitchen.

He said that he yelled out, "'ey Lucie, we loves ya, we does, we do."

Duckworth said that Lucie hollered back "Thank ya, I'm glad I are, I is, I am."

In related news. Lucie said that she has received emails of encouragement from the likes of Susan Boyle, Adam Lambert, Senator John McCain, The Philadelphia Phillies, Barbara Padilla, and Clay Aiken. All losers. All second place finishers. But all very, very rich, especially McCain, but that's only due to the fact that his wife Cindy is one filthy rich beer heiress. But that's another story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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