Hitting the small screen next month is a new reality TV show from Simon Cowell's Psycho Productions.
The 'Max-Factor' features modeling wannabes from throughout the country who will preen, paint and strut their stuff in the usual tearful auditions where they tell us all about their one-legged, jobless parents, and how much being in the final would change their life forever.
The auditions take place in front of a highly experienced panel of judges who know absolutely nothing about modeling or make-up, but who have expertise in selling their own CD's, book's and taking copious amounts of commission from the finalists they sign up.
Mr Cowell denied that calling the show the Max-Factor was anything to do with product placement, advertising or sponsorship, and that models will be chosen purely on the basis of whether "they're worth it" and have big tits.
The public will be able to vote for their favourite model using the usual premium-rate phone calls, and there will be a competition each week during the show's twenty advertisement breaks where viewers have to opportunity of phoning another premium-rate phone line to answer a totally pointless question that a three-year old could get right in order to win a tray of make-up that the shops couldn't give away.