Written by Ulver
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Friday, 6 November 2009

image for Louis Walsh solves the Irish Question
Jerry Adams today !

Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness have shocked the world of UK politics today by calling on the breakaway factions of the Provisional IRA to lay down their weapons and support partition from Southern Ireland.

In a shock move, the former rabid republicans have wholly accepted British rule and have asked to have the province forcibly removed from the rest of the Island and towed just off the isle of Wight to become a new Channel Island.

In a statement tonight, Adams said, "I know that after forty odd years of shenanigans you might find this a surprise but me and the boyos have been talking and to be frank we just can't be part of a united Ireland anymore, begorrah." When pressed for the thinking behind their stunning volte face he replied "We cannot be part of any country that could breed those two f*cking gobshites John and Edward, in fact we're quite happy to lend the Brits some guns and have them slot the shits!"

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