X-Factor rehearsals were today dramatically interrupted when Geordie warbler and chart topper Cheryl Cole announced that the Western Serial collaboration, 'Bordello Falls' had not, as suspected, faded away and died, but on the contrary was very much alive and kicking.
The serial, a collaboration between writers for satirical website TheSpoof.com has been going through something of a hiatus recently as contributors struggled to come to terms with all manner of mundane tasks, such as babysitting, cooking green chilli stew, walking the dog, reporting wife-beating neighbours to the authorities, catching serial killers, going on airport trips with ladyboys, and cake baking.
But Cheryl Cole (who is only 5'3" tall bless her) told the world that there was plenty of life left in Bordello Falls, providing it doesn't get hijacked by Chinese subversives.
Cheryl brought English Spoofer JaggedOne out on stage to illustrate her point.
Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue gave the Geordie warbler and the JaggedOne a standing ovation.
"That's what this business is about," Cowell enthused. "Bullshit. But bullshit delivered in a humorous and entertaining way. Not a gay way. Bordello Falls, you're through."
"Yes" said Louis Walsh.
"A yes from me too," said Dannii Minogue.
JaggedOne punched the air in triumph before hugging Cheryl Cole.
It took eleven security staff to pry him off.
More as we get it.