PETALUMA, California - The little blonde rich girl Britney Spears has just announced that she has finally achieved her life-long dream. She has just signed the papers and is now the full and complete owner of her very own nudist resort.
Ms. Spears is thrilled at the fact that she will now be able to let her hair down and just walk around totally nude and not have to worry about any paparazzi clamoring to try and photograph her tata's, her wazoo, or her yum-yum.
Britney said that she first found out about The Naked As A Jaybird Nudist Resort while surfing the Internet looking for a recipe for chocolate chip and avocado cookies.
She read where the owners of the nudist resort Lazlo and Layla Luxland were wanting to sell because Layla had developed some extremely noticeable cellulite on her thighs and ass (butt) and Lazlo's wiener (dick) had begun to atrophy from too much sun.
The Luxland's who have no health insurance, medical insurance, or dental insurance will take part of the money from the sale of the nudist resort and use it towards a cellulite (cottage cheese) removal surgery for Layla and a peter (dong) transplant for Lazlo.
Meanwhile Britney is reportedly ecstatic at the purchase of her new "Toy." She was asked how much she paid for her nudist resort and she refused to say.
She was asked again and said that no one knew except for her, her business manager, her attorney, and Lazlo and Layla Luxland.
Wrong again "Oops who do I think I'm kidding" breath. A phone call was made to Mr. Larry King and he was asked if he knew how much Britney Spears had paid for her brand new California nudist resort. Larry laughed and asked is Rosie O'Donnell a lesbian? Is Osama Bin Laden a raghead? and is Glenn Beck a crybaby?
The answers to those three questions were yes, yes, and hell yes. Larry said that the Luxlands sold The Naked As A Jaybird Nudist Resort to Britney Spears for $13.8 million, with a down payment of $6.9 million and 60 monthly payments of $115,000.
In unrelated news. Andy Williams who recently turned 102, has just recorded his 197th album. It is entitled, 'Andy Sings His Favorite Songs From The Revolutionary War.'