Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 5 November 2009

image for Alan Titchmarsh And Rusty Lee In Live TV Sausage Making Disaster
Some Belligerent Bangers Banging Away In Birmingham Today.

What was supposed to be a routine cooking item on gardening ace Alan Titchmarsh's UK afternoon magazine show descended into the realms of farce today as Afro-Caribbean-Brummie madcap cook Rusty Lee attempted to make home made sausages.

For Caribbean bangers and mash.

The audience looked on in horror as Titchmarsh cranked the sausage machine handle too fast and Rusty Lee lost control of the emerging sausage, leaving three feet of empty skin!

Undeterred and laughing insanely, Rusty Lee, the Afro-Caribbean-Brummie cook then tried to slide the empty portion of sausage skin back onto the nozzle of the sausage machine!

She enjoyed a degree of success with this maneouvre, but yet again, Titchmarsh went at the cranking handle like a man possessed, which led to Rusty Lee again losing control of the slippery sausage.

Eventually, something vaguely resembling a string of sausages was created. But not cooked. The canny Ms Rusty Lee had prepared some sausage and mash with onion gravy earlier.

Alan Titchmarsh tasted the sausage and mash and remarked that it was "very nice."

Daytime TV eh? Bloody hell!

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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