Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 4 November 2009

image for Dancing With The Stars: The Samurai, Mark Dacascos and The Cowboy, Michael Irvin Are Booted Out
Ex-Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin picked up his football and went home.

HOLLYWOOD - The M and M boys, Mark and Michael were both eliminated from Dancing With The Stars.

Iron Chef Mark Dacascos and ex-Dallas Cowboy Receiver Michael Irvin were both sent packing in a double elimination edition of DWTS.

Samurai Mark said that he was very upset but that he would go home, get his butt in the kitchen, and just cook something with badger to get over his depression.

Meanwhile Cowboy Michael said that he was going to fly back to Dallas (on a plane) and watch some highlight films covering his Cowboy playing days.

He grinned and said that he would also be going out and doing some karaoke. Irvin said that he knows that it's kind of unusual but he likes to sing old classic songs by women such as Dionne Warwick, Aretha Franklin, and Cyndi Lauper.

Host Tom Bergeron asked Irvin if he felt that the reason he had lost was because he was the only black left in the competition.

Michael smiled showing all of his 87 teeth, brushed away half a sponge of sweat from his face, and said that he had already thought about that, but that he had decided that he would have lost even if he had been green.

Bergeron laughed and asked, "You mean like a Martian?"

And Michael replied, "No bro, green like someone who has a real bad upset stomach, which, by da way I do, so if y'all will excuse me, I'll just mosey on outta here and make a bee line for da men's room."

Some of the shows highlights included Judge Carrie Ann Inaba making goo-goo eyes and telling Iron Chef Mark Dacascos that if he was not married that she would love to look into possibly cooking up something with him.

She smiled, took a drink of her Saki on the rocks, and said that she did not mean food either. Len Goodman turned red and Bruno turned purplish, since his skin complexion is not as white as Len's is.

Host Tom Bergeron asked the face-making, lip-pouting Karina Smirnoff, who was partnered with Aaron Carter, if there was something to all of these 'kissy-kissy' rumors between her and "Blonde Boy" he has been hearing about all week.

Karina whispered in Tom's ear telling him that she had started the rumors to make her ex-fiance Maksim Chmerkovskiy jealous.

When she was asked if it had worked, she replied that apparently it hadn't because she had heard from a very good source that Maksim was dating the man-stealing, vulgar-mouthed star of the cable show My Life On The D-List Kathy Griffin.

SIDENOTE: All of the dancers and the audience members agreed that Len Goodman's yellow shirt was the brightest yellow that they had ever seen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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