Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 3 November 2009

image for Jedwardgate - John And Edward In X-Factor Vote Rigging Furore
Typical (But Not In A Gay Way) John And Edward Fans

X-Factor twins John and Edward have found themselves caught up in a scandal known as Jedwardgate.

Suspicion that all might not be as it seems with the vertical haired Irish twins has been simmering for weeks. Many commentators have suggested that the X-Factor vote could be rigged.

Judge and mentor Louis Walsh responded angrily to the allegations, telling us:

"The people love John and Edward. Suggestions that the voting on the show may be manipulated in their favour are as ridiculous as similar rumours that I myself am showing early signs of impending senile dementia. It's just a load of rubbish."

Louis Walsh then started clapping his hands and going wild-eyed as he growled something along the lines of "Ice cream. Ice cream. Ooh Goody goody gumdrops!"

Fellow X-Factor Judge Cheryl Cole (no relation to Judge Judy) who saw her protege Rachel Adedeji (Or was she Danni's protege? Who Knows? Who cares?) booted off the show
was still in hiding yesterday after revelations that she was only five foot three tall, that she wore hair extensions, and that she mimed her number one best selling chart topping single on the show.

Simon Cowell told us off the record that he thought the twins were talentless and should have been kicked off the show ages ago. So we put his comment on the record. Purely out of spite.

Dannii Minogue, Kylie's sister couldn't comment as she was busy having a Brazilian wax and some anal bleaching done.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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