The Double 'D' Life of Jordan. - Katie Price had her day in court with her arch nemesis and alter ego Jordan today. The case came about after Miss Price claimed Jordan was ruining her career through vile public exhibitionism and idiocy.
"I was getting so fed up with that stupid cow goin' on the telly making a fool of herself and fallin' out of clubs drunk showing her knickers." Said Katie.
Miss Price cited that Jordan had stolen her image and tried to steal her work by flashing her tits and acting like one too.
She even accused husband Peter Andre of sleeping with glamour model Jordan while they were married, citing this as a reason for their divorce.
Miss Price who is in a fakeationship with a cross-dressing cage fighter called Roxanne, has recently been seen out in clubs with a cross-species Gladiator called Wolf.
After agreeing an out of court settlement Miss Price told us she intends to give all the money to Charity. We have reason to believe Charity is a transgender arm-wrestler she is currently dating.
Her newly resurgent fame has meant Katie has been inundated with many offers from TV executives.
"I turned them all down," She told a reporter who was hiding in her bushes. "I mean none of them wanted to pay for the whole night, only the hour."
Miss Price's new colouring-in autobiography entitled, "MY LIFE SINCE LUNCHTIME," is currently on sale from Big Issue sellers.
"You can see my tits in it." She shouted at our reporter outside her bedroom on a borrowed ladder.