Written by Mr Pants
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Topics: Jeremy Clarkson

Saturday, 31 October 2009

image for I was fingered by Jeremy Beadle, says dwarf
Sleaford dwarf, Fanny Walker

Miss Fanny Walker, from Sleaford in Lincolnshire has revealed exclusively to this paper that she was once fingered by TV Prankster Jeremy Beadle.

"It was when I was 19 that it happened for the first time", recounted Miss Walker. "I met Jeremy after he'd hosted some dwarf of the year awards and he offered to take me home"

According to Fanny, Jeremy was gentle the first time: "he knew I was young and in-experienced. He was very gentle the first time and even used his small hand rather than his big one so it didn't hurt so much".

A source close to the Beadle Family said "there's nothing to substantiate this claim other than the word of Miss Walker. Obviously Jeremy isn't here any more to defend these allegations. All I can say is that he was always willing to lend a hand; large or small"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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