Otis Barleyhop, of Dunwhingeing, deep in the Australian outback, reputed to be the world's craziest recovering alcoholic did indeed fall off the wagon last night.
In spectacular fashion.
Barleyhop, (42) of Hisspead Drongo road went to to the dunny to drop anchor and found that he was almost terminally constipated.
"His drain was well and truly backed up mate," his friend Blue Mooney told us. "I didn't mean to start anything. I just suggested some draft Guinness would help with the blocked drain."
It seems it didn't help much.
After twenty seven pints of the oul' Liffey water, Barleyhop staggered out of the Oasis Bar and Grill into Bugsplat Road, causing a car crash. He then hauled bus driver Louis Loop out his bus and commandeered it.
He then crashed the bus into a dry river bed and sat slumped in his seat singing 'Waltzing Matilda' at the top of his voice.
As far as we know he's still there.
More as we get it.