Nude CBS anchor, Katie Couric, in a desperate attempt to boost her news ratings, visited a Florida nudist colony today to visit with the manager of Captain P's Longwhopper Restaurant which has been sued a record 2,111 times.
First, Ms. Couric had to get "into the scene" by going nude as clothes are not allowed in Camp Bump-In for the interview, but while undressing, she decided to first visit the latest of the victims of a hot coffee spill.
Mr. X told Couric that he and his friend, Mr. XX who was the last to sue, were eating breakfast when Mr. XX reached over across the table for the pot of hot coffee.
"He drug his naughty bits through my over-easy eggs with toast and bacon", stated Mr. X. "I told him I did not have to put up with that as he could have asked me to hand him the coffee carafe but he didn't do that."
Apparently one thing led to another and as the argument became louder, Mr XX accidentally turned over the carafe of hot coffee in Mr. X's lap.
"You could have heard me screaming all the way to pool side they told me later. Just look at this."
But Katie refused to look after a quick glance and the cameraman had a slide filter on his camera lens as Katie then ran outside where you could hear her heaving.
So, next she visited the manager of Captain P's Longwhopper Restaurant, not wishing to see anymore victims on a now empty stomach.
Here, manager Claude Dinglebell, told Ms. Couric that indeed, they have now been sued 2,111 times which is now in the Guinness Book of Records and had been since their 56th suit.
"But why serve hot food at a nudist colony", asked Couric. "Indeed, why build a restaurant here at all?"
Dinglebell then told Couric that for one thing, they had made the news around the world after every hot coffee spill and hotdog mishap.
But, as all 100-plus viewers know, our Katie always gets to the bottom of things.
Just seeing the shadow, which was gorgeous, a Ms. XXX secretly told Couric that besides the free advertising, the company was hoping to lose enough in lawsuits to go before congress for a huge bailout.
The news segment ended with Ms. XXX saying that she herself had never sued and was leaving the group anyway.
"It's beginning to look more like a leprosy colony than a nudist colony", stated Ms. XXX. "