Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Boss, John Gotti

Monday, 29 August 2005

image for Victoria Gotti: "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!"

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (AP) Victoria Gotti doesn't play games. A Spoof reporter on assignment to interview the daughter of mob boss John Gotti soon found out that Victoria has some secrets that are best left… secret! Spoof's Morgan Truce began phoning Victoria Gotti two months ago to request an interview. The phone calls were always answered by some guy with a thick accent, "Who's diss?" and after a few words of explanation, "Hey --- don't you be messin' round wit Miss Gotti! Understand?" CLICK! After a half dozen such attempts by telephone, Morgan Truce decided to visit Victoria Gotti in person: a huge mistake.

The Spoof rented a shiny black late model Lincoln Town Car and the next day Morgan Truce was sent looking for Victoria Gotti. Stopping at an Italian bakery for a half dozen cannolis, Morgan Truce asked the bakery owner if he knew where Victoria Gotti lived. "Justa' minute…" and disappeared into the back room. Very soon three men stepped out from the back room. Two of the men unbuttoned their shiny suits so the reporter could see the big guns they were packing. The third man said, "You come-a with us. We take-a you to Victoria Gotti. You leave-a the cannolis. She no like-a them, OK?"

The editors at Spoof did not hear a word from their reporter for the next several weeks. They didn't know whether they were about to receive a hot new story or some terrible news. For a while, they thought about calling the FBI or the police, but then the phone call came from Morgan Truce: "Listen, I can't tell you where I am. I never did get to meet Victoria Gotti. Both of my knees are broken and the doctor says it will be a few more weeks before the bandages come off my face. These Gotti people are seriously heavy duty bad. You've got to promise me that you won't run any story about Victoria Gotti. Otherwise they're going to track me down and finish the number they started on me!"

Morgan Truce (at secret location)

If any readers know where Morgan Truce is hiding, please let us know.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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