Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Paul McCartney

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for Heather Mills To Perform On Dancing On Ice
Sir Paul McCartney, ex-husband of Heather Mills has called and wished her luck on Dancing On Ice.

LONDON - Sir Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills has just announced that she will be performing on the upcoming edition of Dancing On Ice.

Ms. Mills, was married to McCartney for six years and, received a divorce settlement of 24.3 million pounds (or $39,874,000 U.S.).

Heather who made it to the final six dancers on America's Dancing With The Stars remarked that she had received a lot of criticism from a lot of critics.

She said that some called her The British Beeach, The U.K. Souffle, and the name she hated the most The Ice Princess.

Heather said that all of the criticism she received hurt her for about three seconds but once she thought about the fact that she has almost $40 million and could actually buy Portugal, Kenya, and Pakistan she felt a whole lot better.

Mills said that she decided to agree to appear on Dancing on Ice because she wants to show the world that she has gotten over being dumped by Mr. McCartney.

She added that she had negotiated her own contract and that she will receive more money than all of the other ice skaters combined.

Mills told a reporter for the BBC that she is presently in negotiations to purchase Buckingham Palace.

Heather said that she had received an email from her ex-husband Sir Paul giving her words of encouragement and telling her to break a leg. He quickly realized what he had said and he told her to bruise her butt instead.

Ms. Mills reportedly emailed Paul back and asked him if he still missed the cute little way that she would rub his (blank) with her (blank) while he was (blanking) her (blank).

The ex-Beatle emailed her back and said effen yeah! yeah! yeah!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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