Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Kanye West, Rap, balloon

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for Kanye West Signs The Three Colorado Balloon Boys To A Rap Music Recording Contract
The Yo Yo MoFo Bro Band who will be the backup band for The Colorado Balloon Boys.

DENVER - Hip-hop rapper Kanye West has just revealed to the music media that he has signed the three Heehaw boys, also known as The Colorado Balloon Boys to a $2 million rap music recording contract.

West said that he recently saw a U Tube video that the boys' father, Richie "Balloon Papa" Heehaw had made where his three sons, Eagle, Hawk, and Woodpecker were singing a rap song that their father had written.

The song entitled, "Hey Beeach Where The Hell Did You Hide Our Mother Effen Toys" has generated close to 13 million hits on U Tube.

West said that the boys are really good and have that natural rap quality tone to their voices which he said was amazing given the fact that the three little dudes are little redneck sh*ts.

Kanye went on to say that it is highly unusual to see and hear any white kids singing hip hop rap songs, much less singing them fairly well.

He said that when he first heard the Colorado Balloon Boys singing he thought about himself when he was young and growing up in Alana (Atlanta).

West said that 9-year-old Woodpecker even sounds exactly like he did when he was nine except for the fact that little Woodpecker like his younger brothers 8-year-old Hawk, and 6-year-old Eagle are extremely more vulgar, nasty, and potty-mouthed than he was at their age.

Kanye was asked why the little grade school boys cuss so damn much. He laughed and said that the reason is simple...it's because they basically have an A-hole for a father who pretty much lets them do and say whatever the friggin' he*l (hell) they want.

West smiled as he took a drink from his bottle of Ripple and said, "I means look at da man. "Balloon Papa" ain't exactly no Rob Petrie, or Ward Cleaver, or even Cliff Huxtable, except dat Huxtable was black of course.

The white fella is more like a weird whacky version of Gomez Addams, but with beer, stress, arrogance, anger, a funky a*s (ass) haircut, and extreme male chauvinism."

Kanye added that the only thing missing is a trailer house, a truck with a gun rack on the back window, and a "I Like The Dick Cheney" tattoo on his beer belly.

Kanye West has said that he will be taking The Colorado Balloon Boys into the recording studio and recording an album that hopefully should be out by Christmas.

He also pointed out that if everything goes well, the little Colorado dudes will be his opening act when he starts his "Hey Taylor I'm Gonna Let You Finish But" concert tour in January of 2010.

The notorious rap artist has said that as of now he is thinking of possibly renaming The Colorado Balloon Boys and perhaps using a more black rap type name like Brats 2 Brats.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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