Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 October 2009

image for The Jay Leno Show Beaten In The Ratings By The Condiment Channel
The Condiment Network's main studio.

LOS ANGELES - The Jay Leno Show has only been on the air for six weeks and it has already been beaten in the ratings by a Cable TV Network.

The Condiment Channel knocked Leno's NBC show to fourth place behind ABC and CBS.

When Leno was told about his show's fourth place showing the prince of NBC replied that there had to be some mistake.

He made a Mr. Potato Head face and commented that there was just no way that his fantastically improved talk show could be beat out by a network that deals with things that one can do with mayonnaise, oregano, and paprika.

TV Guideline Magazine critic Wallace Foofulecki told Jay in an interview that the truth hurts. Leno said that it didn't hurt because it was not true.

Foofulecki showed Leno, of the football size looking chin, the actual notarized figures. Leno looked at them and replied that it was obviously a misprint.

Leno was then shown a secondary list and he remarked that it was full of typos.

Mr. Foofulecki told Leno that he just might as well face the fact that people would rather watch a show about the ingredients that go into making mustard, horseradish, and nutmeg than watch him.

Leno told Foofulecki that he had his facts wrong. He said that nutmeg is not a condiment. Foofulecki asked him what he thinks nutmeg is.

Leno replied, "Nutmeg is just like the name implies, it's a nut."

Foofulecki started laughing. He regained his composure and said, "And so with that logic and reasoning what does that make pussywillow?"

"Well it's not a cat." Leno replied.

An inside source at NBC has said that they are getting closer and closer to signing Rev. Al Sharpton to take over Leno's place.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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