Shitcago, IL-- Famed fat slob and talk-show hostess Oprah Winfrey finally invited Sarah Palin to come on her program. The sex-starved swing-belly's ratings are dropping faster than a hot load from her fat ass. When Sarah appeared on Oprah's show today, the tubby television star thought she was lunch, and ate her!
Oprah's weight has always been going up and down. Friends know her weight goes up when she is sexually frustrated. Oprah has had the hots for Barack Obama since she offered him a blow-job on her filthy talk-show last year. Obama declined the offer from the horny hippo, but did let her smell the toilet on AirForce One. The scent only inflamed the fat cow, and her appetite went berserk.
When Sarah arrived in Shitcago for her interview, she was covered in moose blood. The savage Sarah had just skinned and butchered a pregnant moose on the Alaskan tundra. She didn't bother to clean herself. Even dead people don't watch the Oprah show anymore.
Oprah's appetite grew and grew during the interview. Oprah normally eats a cow for breakfast, a moose for lunch and a herd of buffalo for dinner. She only drinks diet soda with her meals--she's watching her weight.
As Sarah kept talking, she began to resemble a moose to Oprah. Finally the blubbering butterball couldn't resist her urges anymore and she gobbled up Sarah Palin right on national TV.
Sarah wasn't hurt, of course. Oprah spat her out later when she was chewing her cud. Oprah never apologised for the accident. she was too busy masturbating in front of a photo of Obama.
Sarah took it all in stride. "When I was inside Oprah, I could look out and see Russia!" she said dumbly.