Written by queen mudder
Print this

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

image for Cate Blanchett movie about colonic irrigation in India is cancelled
Blanchett was to have played notorious nymphomaniac Lady Mountbatten

Mumbai - (Delhi-Belly-Flop): The film, based on Indian Bummer: The Secret Hystery of the U-Bend of an Empire, was to have told the story of Lord Mountbatten, the last viceroy of the British Indian Empire.

Hollywood sources commented today that the movie was scrapped because family members were said to be livid at proposed scenes of Lady Mountbatten shagging Jawaharlal Nehru, India's first prime minister, Mahatma Ghandi and just about every wannabe politician of the British Raj.

Blanchett was to have played the notorious Lady M, known for her voracious sexual appetite.

She has also been blamed by the royal family for getting Princess Diana hooked on colonic irrigation during the height of her heroin addiction.

Peristalsis is a condition that occurs during opiate addiction when the bowel stops working properly.

During the cold war years it was also George W Bush's secret KGB code name.

Pumping a couple of gallons of organic free trade camomile tea into the elimination works sometimes opens up the sluices.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 4?

2 17 6 25
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more