Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 15 October 2009

image for Elton John to Re-Write "Candle In The Wind" (Again)
These, brocolli, and eggs can all cause wicked farts too.

At the death of Princess Diana, Musician Elton John rewrote his song "Candle in the Wind" as "Goodbye England's Rose." In response to the opinions of several blowhards recently, the singer has rewritten the song as "Farting Into The Wind." The song was originally a tribute to Marilyn Monroe (a.k.a. Norma Jean Baker) and appears on many greatest hits albums by the singer.

In a statement, Sir Elton said that "there are a lot of people out there spouting diarrhea of the mouth with their stupid opinions, trying to force their lifestyles and agendas onto everyone else. Often, these idiots get noticed and listened too, as it is their right, but they just can't shut their mouths and realize how foolish they look or stupid they are."

Part of the chorus is as follows:

"Well it seems to me, your opinion's like
someone farting into the wind
...having that smell blowing around,
and then coming back again,
And I would have plugged your asshole,
but you ran and hid.
Your noises ended long before
the odors ever did."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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