Written by Bureau
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Thursday, 15 October 2009

image for Robert Pattinson Considering The Bat Man Role
"There He Is!"

A new movie proposal is being considered by Robert Pattinson, in the title role of The Bat Man! No, it isn't Batman, but The Bat Man.

According to the writers, this will be an adventure comedy role here the Bat Man who DOES fight crime, but is actually a vampire who can only come out to fight criminals at night.

In fact, many of the misadventures in the movie are centered upon the Bat Man crime fighter getting safely back into his coffin before daybreak.

What does The Bat Man use to fight crime? His supernatural gifts of being a vampire in the old traditional way.

However, this crime fighter makes a few major blunders before the crooks can be caught, but they will be caught.

Imagine needing to drink blood and your vial gets broken during a major fight and so you quickly run over to a passed out drunk in a dark alley to take just a sip and when you come back to rescue the leading lady, you're no longer thirsty but drunk as a lord!

Even though you manage to get back and save the lady and excuse your actions with an "I must have hic! been stung in that lash fight", you completely miss your coffin after making a dive for it just at sunrise.

All through the movie, The Bat Man is constantly banging his head on the lid when awakening and, once, he completely forgets about daylight saving time, the curse of all vampires!

Insiders say that Pattinson would love to make 'something completely different' from his current role in the Twilight movies.

Is there a Robin in this one?

Yes there is...of a type. He's a 'former flying circus clown' who hit his head missing the net and apparently saw in a vision where he must fight crime, played by Billy Bob Thornton.

What The Bat Man solves at night, "The Bird Man" (Brain) accidentally destroys by day.

Sounds like fun and Pattinson apparently has the role if he wants it.

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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