HOLLYWOOD - Playboy model Joanna Krupa and her Dancing With The Stars partner Derek "The Blonde Boy" Hough literally burned up the DWTS dance floor with their lambada dance number.
The grumpy judge from England Len Goodman said, as he dabbed the sweat beads from his British forehead, that after watching the blonde couple he definitely wanted to see them perform an encore.
Len was quick to point out that he really liked the way Derek looked without a shirt, but he immediately added that he did not mean that in a gay way but in an erotically admiring way.
Carrie Ann Inaba, who bears an amazing resemblance to dance contestant Mark "The Iron Chef" Dacascos said that she had not gotten that excited since back in March when she accidentally spilled a full cup of hot coffee on her crotchalicious groin region.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, Miss Inaba actually said the non-word crotchalicious.]
The lone female judge gave the two a score of 9 out of 10. Inaba also broke the modern day TV record for mentioning the word 'crotch' a grand total of 17 times.
The Looky Looky TV Group which monitors television viewing habits did confirm that the 41-year-old, 139 pound native of Honolulu did in fact break Roseanne Barr's old record which was 11, and had stood for 19 years.
The Italian Judge Bruno Tonioli, who last week got into a second degree non-gay intimate hug with the 'Stormin' Mormon' Donny Osmond looked right into the camera, put his tongue back in his mouth, and told the home viewers to please not try this at home. He then grinned his best sly Sicilian smile and added, "Unless of course you have a (blank) partner.
DWTS Host Tom Bergeron reportedly had to be given a dose of oxygen during the commercial break as he came very close to doing a Marie Osmond impersonation from last year when the little Mormon cutey fainted live before 27 million viewers.
The Looky Looky TV Group is reporting that because of the erotically sensuous nature of the dance, they estimate that probably about 2,000 women got pregnant immediately after the show.