Milan - David Beckham arrived at the Milan fashion show this week and attempted to quash rumours that him and Victoria have separated by arriving alone and holding his arm out, leaning over and speaking to it during the evening as if Posh was there on the receiving end.
Becks explained that Victoria has taken on a new look due to her strict adherence to her new Invisible Diet that has caused her to shed unwanted pounds by the dozen and that "She managed to go a little bit overboard, but everything will be right as rain shortly."
"I came home from practice last week and she was nowhere to be found so I immediately called the police."
Beckham says he was furious when the police arrived two hours late but was relieved when they rushed in and helped him search his mansion.
The search initially found no trace of Victoria until her familiar voice called out her husband's name from the direction of some gossamer curtains in the living room while she was still nowhere to be seen.
Beckham admits it is a bit disconcerting not being able to see his wife but everyone agrees "She does have a lovely voice."