I have learned that the new Michael Jackson song has been completed using Jackson's actual vocal cords transplanted into a monkey who was born with none.
Jackson's post mortem management agent told me, "Jackson's wish was that the monkey be allowed the joy of speech, but we never beleived it could actually sing too!"
After surgery the monkey woke up and began speaking with Jackson's voice.
"When we first heard him it was like, fuck me he sounds just like Michael Jackson! We can make a new record!"
And so the money making Jackson machine keeps making money.
"The miracle of living in the 21st century is that we'll be able to still enjoy Michael's music with new and original material for many more years, this is just... well it's just fucking amazing!"
The new song is airing today and is called 'This is it'. It is, however, unlikely to actually be 'it'.