Written by Ulver
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Topics: X-Factor

Sunday, 11 October 2009

image for X Factor Judges talk Shit - it's official!
Danniiiiii Minogue today

Chronic Masturbators around the UK are in uproar today, after Cheryl Cole and Daniiiiii Minogue accused flibberty-gibbets and strumpets "Kandy Rain" of being too shameless, slutty and getting their minges out on Saturday's X factor.

The idiot-child of Northumbrian Incest and Kylie Minogue's plastic sister were accused by the British Union of Self Abusers of double-standards, especially after Cole's own mother recently shocked the world by flashing her geriatric Kebab to shocked reporters, and Daniiii has been shamelessly dining out on her sister's fame for 20 years.

Cole, most famous for being a haemorrhoid and Minogue who is related to Kylie can rest easy however, since they are still marginally less pointless than the other tag nuts on the X Factor Jury.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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