Written by Simon Cockle
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Sunday, 11 October 2009

image for NASA crash satellites into Winehouse in search of water
Blake and Amy in happier times

In their continuing search for water or, indeed, signs of life, NASA have crashed two unmanned craft into the surface of the singer Amy Winehouse. They hope to discover whether there is currently, or maybe has been in the past, water inside Winehouse.

Recent studies have shown that Jack Daniels, crack and cough mixture may be the only chemical elements existing inside the well-known diva; sadly these do not suggest that life could possibly exist there.

NASA scientist Dr Hubert The-Wonder-Years, 47, explained 'At some point in Winehouse's life there must have been water. There may be ice now, but this would more likely be a couple of cubes doused in Scotch.'

After Winehouse's appearance on Strictly Viewer Ratings last night, many experts have commented that, if water was still present, she would remember more words and stand up a little more steadily. 'She has a 'dark side', too' explained Dr Hubert, 'and her songs can be a bit 'cheesy'. Oh, and her record sales are much 'crater' than Adele's. You can have that one.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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