Written by Bureau
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Saturday, 10 October 2009

image for Scarier Than "Paranormal Activity", "Bell Witch" Combined

A new low-budget movie has been released from the weird people that brought you the low-budget thriller, "Our Wedding In 1955".

Already, "Our Wedding" is said to make the new movie, "Paranormal Activity" look like child's play.

The movie, actually recorded in 1955, has been playing steadily ever since at anyone's home who happen to open the door and fall for Lily and David's "Well, Well, If It Isn't The______" line making you think they are old friends that you had forgotten and won't admit it or that they are old friends of your parents or grandparents.

The next thing you know, they bring out the projector, which ha been redone 15 times at last report, and thus begins the showing of the six-hour classic, "Our Wedding In 1955".

For six loooong hours you are subjected to the worst horrors of weird outfits, flowers that seem more appropriate for a funeral and steady shots of every single person arriving.

Next appears Aunt Edith Snotgrass, who has been dead for 40 years and she looks it, sitting at the piano and singing something about livers or lovers, no one can really hear it clearly.

Usually, by the third hour you crack up, get the heebie jeebies or run outside to puke.

It's a horror you cannot view twice and stay sane, even Lily & David but they are well armed as you see the bulge under the suit coat and Lily playing with that pig poker.

That's "Our Wedding In 1955". It puts everything from "Psycho" to "The Bell Witch Project" to shame.

Oh, the name of the just released movie coming your way from David?, "Lily's Funeral".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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