Written by Bureau
Print this

Thursday, 8 October 2009

image for Robert Pattinson Confesses To Kristen

Apparently Robert Pattinson had something in his past that he really didn't want Kristen Stewart to know but she knew instinctively that there has always been something that he has been holding back.

So, this past weekend he told her, and it didn't turn out as bad as he had feared.

It appears that when Pattinson was only 15, he had a crush on one Nancy Triston, 24, and was always calling her up, had a few dates and finally she had told Pattinson that she might agree to some serious lovemaking if ONE, he would rent one of those turkey outfits like Paul Simon wore on that old episode of Saturday Night Live while singing, "Still Crazy After All These Years".

"Every time I see that, I go nuts", she confessed.

And, TWO, he had to learn some French phrases to whisper while making love to her.

So a month goes by, Pattinson memorizes a few French phrases, rents the costume and goes knocking on Nancy's door.

"Pardon me, Mademoiselle, I was in the neighborhood", says the turkey to a half-nude Triston!

"Oh, that's all over", she replies, and right behind her is a giant carrot and he's saying, "Mama Mia, thatsa one bigga turkey!"

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 1?

4 11 12 5
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more