Written by Bureau
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Topics: Roman Polanski

Thursday, 8 October 2009

image for Polinski: The Little Bounder Claimed To Be 12!
"Yes, It Will Be Another Ben Hur!"

In Zurich, Switzerland yesterday, Director Roman Polinski defended his 1977 rape of a 13-year-old model by expressing his belief that she claimed she was only 12 at the time.

"She seemed much too young for a 13-year-old, but then they are smarter in some countries than in others", a source inside the Swiss facilities reported to our press agent, which cost us a pretty penny.

"She had this certain way of carrying herself...kind of skipping around the room and sticking her tongue out at me."

"OH, YOU'RE talking about the one in the United States. I thought it was the one in London."

"That one gel in London was always trying to lure me on whenever I asked her to come upstairs to my hotel room and we would drink milk shakes till we both puked."

Polinski, the fugitive filmmaker whom all of Hollywood and France adores, however, is still being held by Swiss authorities, who have been asked by the Los Angeles district attorney's office to extradite him to the United States.

Meanwhile, a benefit singing is being proposed in Los Angeles to raise money to pay off the Swiss in euros to have poor Polinski released.

Too, Michael Moore has reportedly been seen talking with Swiss authoritites while filming them in several manly poses. So there may also be a forthcoming film about this persecuted brilliant man, Polinski, not Moore who is pathetic!

Until today, only thirty-five ladies now in their 40's, have come forward to accuse Polinski of getting them drunk and having his way with them.

At last report, Polinski has appealed to Pope Benedict XVI who has a seasoned grope...group of attorneys who should be experts at defending people in such a situation as Polinski finds himself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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