Written by swell
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Thursday, 4 April 2002

image for Nicholas Lyndhurst Marries Himself
A Fairytale wedding,

It all started on the set of those genuinely disturbing WHSmiths adverts. Nicholas and his female alter-ego met across a crowded film set, and built a relationsip based on mutual trust and honestly, based mainly on the fact that they are actually the same person.

"Surely, 'Only Fools and Horses' proved that love transcends class barriers, and 'Goodnight Sweetheart' proved that time was no barrier (when a handy wormhole is available, anyway). However, there are literaly no barriers stopping this relationship. We share a brain and everything."
The new Mrs Lyndhurst (or something) respected convention by turning up to the wedding as a hologram, to prevent any 'you may now kiss the bride'-based awkwardness.

"Normally we exist as a couple within one body- just changing clothes every now and then- but we decided torespect that whole 'two-people' convention with weddings. I mean, just one person up the front: that would just be weird!"

Single person weddings are actually now valid in Holland, but Mr Lyndhurst's career earnings unfortunately won't stretch to a crossing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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