Written by Bureau
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Tuesday, 6 October 2009

image for Saw Kristen With Her Knickers Down

The stars of the Twilight movies are becoming a little like the characters they portray in that they can no longer get about as others do.

"Once you get well-known as a character", stated Taylor Lautner in an exclusive interview with me, "It's like the public or the fans confuse you with the role or roles you play."

"Plus, in our case, we film during the day and cannot go out at night because the fans know we're in the area. So we slip out at Twilight."

It's sort of like the poem by T.S. Elliot: "Between the idea and the reality, Between the motion and the act, Falls the Shadow. Between the conception and the creation, Between the emotion and the response, Falls the Shadow. Between the desire and the spasm, Between the potency and the existence, Between the essence and the descent, Falls the Shadow."

"It could just as well be 'Falls the Twilight', or it could be...Falls Kristen's knickers. The lady had a wardrobe malfunction this morning."

"Plus there are real vampires out there. There is Count Bernie Madoff and all those folks in Washington who drink up the blood of working Americans', stated Lautner.

"Or magazine article writers."

"So what will the title of your article be: 'Alone, At Last At Twilight Time', 'Saw Kristen With Her Knicker's Down' or 'Lautner Turns Introspective'?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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