Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Movies, Pornography

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

In the midst of a flailing entertainment market, corporate financial concerns and recent management reorganization, the Malt Risley corporation (famous for its family friendly musical cartoon movies), may be "entertaining" the possibility of a merger for a much needed influx of cash. Adversity apparently making for strange bedfellows, adult industry tycoon Huge Cockburn is rumored to have offered 49% interest in the Risley Empire.

Expected to demand control over its historical G-rated programming, theme parks and movie rights, Risley is reportedly concerned about the protection of the core family values they have become famous for. In trade for his 49% interest however, Cockburn is reportedly asking for shared access to Risley's animation staff as well as Risley intellectual property for character and story development.

Though Risley will likely want assurances that its reputation remains intact, Cockburn's lead acquisition negotiator Evan Ellpus tells reporters, "There are a number of projects Coe would be interested in getting off the ground, but would need the help of certain Risley resources to be successful." Ellpus says proposed projects might include late-night adult cable spin-offs like "Banana Montana" and "High School Musical Cheerleaders".

Branching out from the typical weekly drama or situation comedy, Cockburn has also mentioned his desire to develop adult oriented specialty content. Other weekly programming would feature a nude exercise show called "Pilates of the Caribbean", and a lesbian centric new product talk show titled "Toy Story". Batteries not included.

Though the merger of these diametrically opposed entertainment giants is still speculative, insiders have confirmed early development of an animated adult film for Cockburn. The working title is "Around the World for 80 Dollars" featuring Jessica Rabbitt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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