ENGLEWOOD, Colorado - According to my source, Betsy Rossatini, Principal of Englewood High School for Autistic Spasmodics, Michael J. Fox begins a nation-wide tour of high schools where he will dramatically reveal the source of his shaking and quaking.
Michael will reveal a miracle cure for his shaking, something that he will drink on stage. After he drinks this beverage, which has no calories, his shaking will stop, and he will explain that this beverage actually stops the shaking, for a few minutes; then he needs another one or the shaking is even worse.
As his shaking again makes it impossible for him to hold his glass without spilling, his assistants will help him drink some more of the beverage so that for a few minutes, he can have peace.
Michael's message to students, "Once you get hooked on diet pop, never try to give it up. You'll look ri-i-i-i-idicules!"